I love overhearing conversations of 3 year olds....be it with their toys or other 3 year olds. I was able to be a fly on the wall at the mall playplace yesterday and listen to my oldest son tell his new found friend about our family.
Boston: "yeah, that's my brother Callum, he's a baby."
"I have a sister too, but you can't see her."
"My sister's name is Keely and she's an angel."
Other kid: "Cool! I have a cat. You can't see her. She's at my house."
Later that night, Boston said I make him "super, super happy" and that he makes me "super, super happy". True. So very, very true.
He went on to tell me that Callum, Keely and Daddy make me super, super happy. Again, couldn't be more true.
I love that he can verbalize these things now. I love that Keely's legacy will outlive me, through the love of her brothers. I love that he can talk to me, and others, about Keely without being affected by how society thinks we should talk about her. I love that he always includes her and his brother.
At that same playplace, a lady asked how old my children are.... "My oldest will be 4 this summer and my baby just turned 1". I pause there. I could leave it alone. She didn't ask how many I had and she probably was only referring to my children there. But I couldn't leave it alone. I couldn't not say anything. So I went on " and we had a little girl in between". She smiled and said something about how busy I must be, when I was saved by Sam, fresh from a haircut and ready for us to move on. I was able to mention all of my children without having to explain or get "the look", the look of pity and that's all it takes to make my day. I can promise you this: if I had quit where I paused, it would be haunting me. It's different for everyone and every grieving parent must answer those questions in a way that they feel best about. For me, I know that answer is to include her.
"Children are one third of our population and all of our future." ~Select Panel for the Promotion of Child Health, 1981