Wednesday, April 22, 2009

a little praise for People

A gossip magazine junkie as it is, a story on bereaved parents would certainly catch my eye. Any story on "How they're coping" in reference to bereavement (in this case, John Travolta and family) instantly puts me on the defensive because I don't like the idea that grief is being judged. I can see how one could read into that headline as "what they're doing to get by" but I read it as "how well we think they're doing" or "how well they should be doing". Doesn't make much sense, but it's a gut reaction. I skimmed the article while waiting for my turn in line and see a little box with a subject along the lines of "when will they get over it" or something of that variety. Again with the defenses, but I was pleased upon reading it that the answer was true: "never". So often articles of this variety will do a huge disservice to the bereaved community by offering a timeline. So often, others will offer up a timeline of their own so as to relieve their own discomfort at continuing grief. Kudos to People magazine for offering a little insight into the fact that grief doesn't go away, we just deal with it more privately. The small box spoke of hidden tears and it rang so true. My prayers are with every bereaved parent in the world to have to deal with the loss of your child under the glare of public eye seems hugely unfair so my thoughts and prayers are with the Travoltas as they walk this journey.

"No person is ever truly alone.
Those who live no more,
Whom we loved,
Echo still within our thoughts,
Our words, our hearts.
And what they did
And who they were
Becomes a part of all that we are,
Forever. " Richard Fife

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