It's been two years ago today at 11:20 am that our sweet Keely Rae grew her wings. I will remember every moment of this day, every smell, every sound. In one split second, everything changed. One second that I will relive until my own second comes. My heart hurts, my arms ache.
People like to tell you things to make you feel better. I probably did the same thing to my friends who lost their children before I joined the club. Even with the best of intentions, there is nothing that can ease the sorrow aside from just allowing grief to happen and letting the bereaved know that you're there for them and sorry. One popular thing I've heard is that time will ease the pain. That's just not true. I told myself it would be true for a long time. While day to day life becomes more bearable, it isn't the pain easing, it's our handling of it that gets better. We get better at masking the tears in the card section at Target or better at not glancing at the pink layettes in the mall. We get better at holding back our tears but the heart hasn't mended and it won't.
Today is her day and my heart is broken. Right now, 2 years ago, I was a completely and totally different person. Two years ago right now, her heart was strong.
Mama misses and LOVES you, Keely Rae. You are my heart, my moon and stars. Watch over us. Your brothers and daddy miss and love you. We'll see you soon, baby girl; in the blink of Heaven's eye <3