4 years old. Too grown for baby toys. Specific interests, likes, dislikes, a personality we'll never know. It was harder this year than I remember it being. I chose a sparkly pink sweater dress and sparkly shoes. Would she like those things? Would she be more of a tomboy? She'd have to be kind of tough to hang out with her brothers ;) Or they'd be her protectors. I was drawn to the little girl asking for dinosaurs because she most certainly would've been forced to play dinos, even if just a little. After looking through the Barbie aisle, they seemed too grown up for a 4 year old so her baby brother helped me pick out a fairy doll. Perfect.
Some little girl somewhere will open those gifts Christmas morning and I hope they are her taste and that she's excited and feels the magic of Christmas that my little girl never got to see. Meanwhile, my little girl will be remembered and missed and enjoying Heaven until we get there. We'll be experiencing the joy and magic of Christmas while experiencing the pain of an absence. Life is not fair but it is beautiful and fleeting, another lesson our girl sends home.
Wishing gentle holidays to anyone missing someone. XOXO
"The presence of her absence is everywhere"
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