Thursday, December 29, 2011

couch jumpers!

The more time that passes, the harder it is to picture what Keely might look like if she were alive today. It gets harder to mould that almost 2 lb girl's face into that of a 4 year old and guess how she might fit in with her brothers, how they might quarrel or how they might snuggle up for a movie.

Just now, I was able to picture it. For the first time in a long time, I could picture a 4 year old girl, in jammies like her brothers, acting silly and getting into mischief with them. I could picture her blonde hair falling into a mess over her face as she jumps on the couch until they finally hear me calling to them.

A completely fabricated vision and yet, in it, I find peace. Millions of what ifs in a day, still. Always. And always still, peace because I know she's at peace.

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