One might think this is the time of year I'd fill pages and pages with words of remembrance of Keely. But in truth, this is the time of year that it's all I can do to get through each day without tears. Sounds dramatic, right? Well, it is. The smell of the flowers, the day starting chilly and warming up drastically, the cloudless sky; all markers of spring and of that time we held our girl and said goodbye. Everyday is a look back and a look forward. Another day gone without her. Another day blessed to be her mother. Another day blessed with her brothers at my side. Another day to look back with both happy memories of her life and sad memories of our heartbreak.
As we ease our way to "her days", I may post less and less and conserve my energy for having any energy at all. Grief is exhausting and ongoing. 3 years down the road and it's hard to express the gaping hole at our family dinner table. So very gone, but even more loved.
"Oh, they tell me of a home far beyond the skies, Oh, they tell me of that home faraway." hymn