Monday, November 16, 2009

so very final

I had a lovely conversation with another bereaved mother. Though I often feel like a veteran at 2.5 years on this road, she had me trumped at 12 years. It was both sad and amazing at how very similar our feelings are. There are ups and downs, bad days and good, days when you feel like you could crumble up into a million pieces and times of such peace. There are days of purpose and lost days. There are days of missing her and days of missing her more. Not a minute goes by without a thought of her. 9.5 years from now, when I've been on this journey 12 years, it looks like those days will still be present. It's like the little old lady I see at the cemetery from time to time, putting flowers on Pearl's grave. Pearl's headstone says she was born and died on the same day in 1949 and her mother (I'm guessing it's her mother) faithfully visits her place and, I pray, finds some peace. If I thought about it, of course, my love and loss will still be there to the day I die. I just hadn't thought of it or maybe tried not to. So few things in this life are so very final. We can't know how long we'll be blessed with the loved ones we're lucky to walk beside, but we know that we can't in this life walk beside those we've lost. What this world is missing...

1 comment:

  1. Somedays the foreverness of Henry being gone just hits me out of nowhere. It is something I know and yet it can still surprise me. I try not to think about it too much--just get through the day.