Tuesday, January 5, 2010


This word has been coming up a lot lately. Escape. People wanting to escape the cold. People wanting to escape their pain. People wanting to escape from the holiday obligations.

Admittedly, I read far too much into things. I read between the lines and, at the same time, manage to read each word quite literally. Lately, I've found myself looking up actual definitions of words so I could dissect meaning or intent.

the definition of escape:

1. to break loose from confinement

2. to issue from an enclosure

3. to avoid a serious or unwanted outcome

It seems to me that escape is a temporary thing. It's putting off the inevitable. Is it possible to escape the cold? Yes, so long as you can afford a plane ticket or vacation home. Is it possible to escape holiday obligations? Maybe, so long as you have a good enough excuse. But, the cold returns or you return to it. The holidays roll around next year and eventually, someone will be onto you. Is it possible to escape pain or bereavement? I don't think so. You can stifle it temporarily or you can have a good moment, a genuine and good moment but the grief is still there, waiting. Sounds ominous, right? Well, I don't see it as a bad thing. I think that's hard, nearly impossible, for the non-bereaved to understand. Pain is a part of grief and grief is a constant reminder of my child. Yes it's a constant reminder that she's not here with us, but a reminder of her is good. A reason to say her name is good.

"Life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone" Jack Kerouac

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