"Dear Keely,
I look forward to meeting you in your heavenly home. I know both my sisters are there- Marney & Rusie- to keep you company till I get to join you.
Love, Your Great Nana"
Sunday, May 29, 2011
comfort in connections
seconds in Heaven...
I haven't been sure where to record this. It's something not well understood and quite often met with skepticism, even from me. There are some things we just aren't meant to know (so says Deut. 29:29) and I consider understanding a direct connection in this physical world to the other side one of those things. I *want* to believe seeing Keely in my dreams is a little visit with her, a glimpse of her. Sometimes it might be, then other times maybe just a dream. All the same, I want to remember them. In the end, I want to remember this so I'm here, recording it.
My Nana came to my mother in a dream {if you'll recall, my Nana passed away last month}. She excitedly told her of Heaven, how she wished she'd come sooner; knowing real joy. She also told her to tell me not to say LIVING children anymore {I'll sometimes refer to my living children as that in order to include all of them besides Keely for whatever reason}. She said "Keely's LIVING, really LIVING". It brought on a rush of emotions, not the least of which was chills and gratitude. What a gift to have, even for a moment, a glimpse. Someday we'll understand...
"The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law."
My Nana came to my mother in a dream {if you'll recall, my Nana passed away last month}. She excitedly told her of Heaven, how she wished she'd come sooner; knowing real joy. She also told her to tell me not to say LIVING children anymore {I'll sometimes refer to my living children as that in order to include all of them besides Keely for whatever reason}. She said "Keely's LIVING, really LIVING". It brought on a rush of emotions, not the least of which was chills and gratitude. What a gift to have, even for a moment, a glimpse. Someday we'll understand...
"The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law."
Friday, May 13, 2011
missing more...
Tomorrow it will have been a week since watching my Nana's earthly life end, a week since she met my girl face to face. I feel so lucky to have that link to the other side. Lucky my girl met my Nana on the shore. Lucky my Nana will rock her until I can. So lucky and in a worldly sense, missing so very much. Life can be so short and so long all at once.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
greet your Great Nana at the gates, little girl
Keely greeted my Nana this afternoon on the shore of Heaven. I find myself thinking of my Great Grandmother, Eula. A mother of 5: a stillborn boy, my beloved Marney who died in 1991 at the age of 75, Riley who died in 1927 at the age of 7, Ruth who died in 1986 at the age of 62 and my Nana Helen who passed through the gates today at age 83. For the first time, Eula has all her children together. What a joyful reunion it must be.
"when the saints get to Heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be."
"when the saints get to Heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be."
Monday, April 25, 2011
visions of Keely
Last week I had a dream that I needed to let settle in my head before I spoke about it. It really got me thinking and I'm still not sure how I feel about it.
In it, Keely was about 4 years old; the age she'd be now. All three of her brothers were here as well, all the ages they'd be as well. My whole family was together. But it wasn't the dream I usually picture because in it, Keely was dying. She had cancer and we knew she was dying. That was the whole dream. Very simple but very vivid. I could smell the hospital even after I woke up. I knew the design on her hospital gown, the colors in the room. I knew the thoughts going through my head in the dream.
This dream has had my mind in knots. What I wouldn't give to have my family together!! I'd love for my sons to know their sister in an earthly way. I'd love to hear her voice, her laugh. I'd love to have her eyes look back into mine. I'd love even 4 years together...
But I know how selfish that is. I don't want her scared or in pain or who knows what else a family would go through when a child dies after you're used to waking up with or opening presents Christmas morning with them. I know she's happy and dancing in Heaven. It's us left that mourn and while we can't truly understand it now, this life is temporary.
On a similar note, I think my niece has a gift. A gift I fear she may outgrow one day so I'm recording these little glimpses now while I can. My niece is going to be 4 this summer. My sister and I were pregnant at the same time. Keely and her cousin were about 6 weeks apart. Her Daddy went to sit next to her on the couch and she said "No Daddy, you can't sit there. The girl is there." very matter of factly. She then went on to issue an extensive apology to 'the girl' on her daddy's behalf ;) So her daddy asked her about the girl. "She has yellow hair and green eyes." He asked her name. "Mommy, Stephanie." I find this particularly remarkable as Keely is named for my two sisters; their middle names. I have no reason to believe my niece would know this about her Mommy and our other sister (who ALWAYS goes by Steph or a nickname, never Stephanie). A few minutes later, she said "okay, you can sit there now, the girl went to sit with her Mommy."
Like we got a little glimpse of Heaven, of our girl. I'm so grateful.
In it, Keely was about 4 years old; the age she'd be now. All three of her brothers were here as well, all the ages they'd be as well. My whole family was together. But it wasn't the dream I usually picture because in it, Keely was dying. She had cancer and we knew she was dying. That was the whole dream. Very simple but very vivid. I could smell the hospital even after I woke up. I knew the design on her hospital gown, the colors in the room. I knew the thoughts going through my head in the dream.
This dream has had my mind in knots. What I wouldn't give to have my family together!! I'd love for my sons to know their sister in an earthly way. I'd love to hear her voice, her laugh. I'd love to have her eyes look back into mine. I'd love even 4 years together...
But I know how selfish that is. I don't want her scared or in pain or who knows what else a family would go through when a child dies after you're used to waking up with or opening presents Christmas morning with them. I know she's happy and dancing in Heaven. It's us left that mourn and while we can't truly understand it now, this life is temporary.
On a similar note, I think my niece has a gift. A gift I fear she may outgrow one day so I'm recording these little glimpses now while I can. My niece is going to be 4 this summer. My sister and I were pregnant at the same time. Keely and her cousin were about 6 weeks apart. Her Daddy went to sit next to her on the couch and she said "No Daddy, you can't sit there. The girl is there." very matter of factly. She then went on to issue an extensive apology to 'the girl' on her daddy's behalf ;) So her daddy asked her about the girl. "She has yellow hair and green eyes." He asked her name. "Mommy, Stephanie." I find this particularly remarkable as Keely is named for my two sisters; their middle names. I have no reason to believe my niece would know this about her Mommy and our other sister (who ALWAYS goes by Steph or a nickname, never Stephanie). A few minutes later, she said "okay, you can sit there now, the girl went to sit with her Mommy."
Like we got a little glimpse of Heaven, of our girl. I'm so grateful.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
another birthday past
We made it through her celebration and then through her birthday. It was a lovely celebration of a beautiful but short life. Pictures will come soon. The last milestone is the 14th, the day she was laid to rest.
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